oooooiiiooooo

i think my most recurrent worst nightmare right now is having my most favorite cat in the world, maximus, die..
i don’t think i’ve ever felt this sort of deep sharp fear whenever his health declines and wobbles. every vomiting act, every big pupiled watery grimace on his little gray and white face, makes me go still and quiet.
i’d spend every penny i have just to have him pain-free and live longer.
so, these days i’m fucking moody. i haven’t seen my boyfriend enough, i haven’t been eating well, not enough sleep. but tonight, its raining, and this lifts me up a little.

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